One of my online friends is going to get married this summer, and she invited me to their wedding. I have been looking for something to give her as a gift that would last and meaningful, kind of like something that she can use and remember our friendship. When I went to Shoe Mart, there was a wide array of stuff that I can buy for her as a wedding gift. I’ve been contemplating between the electronic and the china wares. Now, since fine china’s are really expensive, I need to be wise in choosing the right one. When I got home, another friend of mine and I checked online for wholesale china collectibles, and compare prices. We found out that it’s more affordable to get authentic ones online, there’s a variety of designs you can choose from too, and they come with certificates of authenticity. I’m sure that she’d love to have them as decorations, because of the intricate designs and the fragility, she may just decide to put them on a locked glass shelf or something.

“…and I gave forgiveness I’ve been denying..”-tim mcgraw, live like you were dying

For a time I’ve been hiding this pain in my heart, and my conversation with a friend last night made me realize that I should let this all out in the open once and for all, forgive the person and move on.

At the time while I was living with a friend, we’ve been branded for a lot of reasons. I thought that she was my friend being in the same faith together, however, it proved that you won’t really know a person unless their interest is on the line. Let me be clear on this that, I’m not making it her responsibility to take care of us, that’s not what I meant. She has been a really big help to us and I want to say that I have regards for her too. However, it has caused me too much tears and undue worries and constant questioning of myself and I ended up more hurt aside from my separation from my children’s father.

Stealing. She branded my kids as thieves, while I understand the situation, however, to conclude that most of the things that she’s losing around her home is because my children are stealing from her is really unfair when what she only has is what her boyfriend told her and her suspicions. For some reason, until this day, my children still feels insecure about it and the most affected is my daughter.

The last time we saw each other, she accused me of stealing her anklet. Which I never forgave her for it. How would I steal something that I don’t normally use? And at the time, despite my being hard on money, I was working as an English tutor. She may have her reasons, but until now, I still feel angry about it. I’m not a jewelry person, I may have some piece but a lot of people can attest that I don’t wear them.

Dentures. I had my dentures done by a doctor that she knew, and until today I still haven’t made the difference from it. Why? Because the dentures didn’t really fit, the first weeks that I wore it, I was in pain and endured it because I thought that I just need to “break” my gums. But according to a company dentist, it doesn’t fit me and I need to bring it back to the dentist who made it. But how could I? She already bad mouthed me to the doctor, what confidence do I have now to face her? This dragged on for years. In one of her hate mails, she even taunted me about it.

Adultery. She always insists to me that she’s not committing adultery because these men that she’s having sexual relationships with over the internet doesn’t really touches her. We always have arguments about the men she’s involved with, for some reason and I didn’t really understood her until now, but she’s too focused and consumed by what she was doing and she ends up “beating” me for it. She even used me against her husband, at the time, I thought that I was doing her a favor, but after I’ve recovered from the pains of my separation, I realized that all those things that she’s been doing to me, and the things that she’s asking me to do, weren’t right.

Despite the treatment of indignation, one should be willing to secure to cancel a debt with no reservations, and I am canceling that debt.

I will chose to forgive and cancel all the cursing words she planted in my life. It will never flourish for it would die and fall on dead ground. The years past has proven to me that my God is sufficient enough, and despite my still shortcomings, His expression of love is still available for me whenever I need it.

Many thanks to those who commented, I am also inviting you to please rate my blog and comment at YouSayToo, this way I will know how to properly categorize my blog and what I need to do to improve my contents. Anywho, these are my answers to each:

Thanks Hazel. My son is trained to cook, clean and after himself, organize his stuff so when he decides he wants to live alone, he can take care of himself with no nagging worries on my side. My daughter on the otherhand is just starting to learn these chores. Actually, most of the time she’s too much of a giver because she treats all her playmates which is a shock for me when I come home from my part-time work, either the cookies I bought is already gone! But I’m not worried too much about it, I guess she just needs a little more training to restrain herself from being an overboard giver.

I really pray for that Rossel, when their father and I we’re still together we worked as a team to discipline and care for them, we often talk about how we’re going to do things for the kids, we plan for them. Their father used to care for them in such a way, everything they need is met and on time. That helped me and the kids a lot in coping with these major changes.

Hi MushaMommy, yes they are sweet and helpful, and most of the time they’re patience testers, but it comes with the territory. My goal is for them to continue growing in love and discipline so by the time they have their own families, they know what to do and their marriage won’t suffer like what happened to me and their father.

A lot of people does say I have beautiful kids, thanks very much too. Well, I just hope that they pass on the care to their children and grandchildren, it will make me accomplished. I visited your blog too! Thanks for visiting me here Chubskulit!

Again, my sincerest gratitude to all of you! Have a wonderful weekend everybody!

My children grew up with love and acceptance. When my family was still whole, their father and I never fail to give those hugs and kisses and words of affirmation, I guess I can also say that we’ve showed my children these four Love Language. We give them time, whenever their father is at home, they spend time with us in bed, we talk and we joke, we even sleep together. We serve them by giving them their baths, preparing their meals, etc. Like I said, we never fail to give those hugs and kisses, and they are pampered this way. Whenever we had extra, we buy them things they need.

My daughter’s love language is Physical touch and Receiving Gifts. She likes to hug and kiss me, and she always embraces me especially when we’re walking. She’s like a monkey hanging on a branch with me, hahah! Well, I can tell that she’s a certified girly, because of the latter gift. LOL!

My son’s love language is Acts of Service. He show’s his affection through the things he do, he cooks me food, do some laundry for me (of course it doesn’t take rocket science to use the washing machine and dryer!). And his other love language is Words of Affirmation, he always need constant encouragement.

I guess, like what I learned from Harold Sala’s Train Up A Child book, our children’s lives is in our hands, and God gave us this tremendous potential to do good in their lives by bringing out the best in them. I also thank God that I have a gift of Counsel, because I am able to share the word of the Lord with my children. In time I know they will also fully accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour.

and I’m  not ruining it, because the word of the Lord has taught me not to engage myself in pointless debacles. Plus the fact that I’m already 34 should ring a bell. Whatever it is that people don’t understand about me, should just be passing, what they say is irrelevant and does not really identify me because -they don’t know my mother! It’s more Christian not to engage in such pointless exchanges.

In this life, and as a Christian, I learned to sense people; Is this person a trouble maker, does this person likes to have the last say, is this person trouble hungry, does this person really has a deep relationship with Christ? These questions will save you from too much heartaches, not because you’re being a snob or anything, but you now know the things that makes you lose your peace -like my rent! LOL! And you now know how to avoid putting so many undue stress on your head.

Recently, I learned something about someone, from someone who I would think the last person to tell me. Before this, I prayed (I’m a prayer warrior who lapses from time to time, go figure!) and asked Him about this person; in it, I said, Lord please help me to discern, reveal to me. And He did.  I wasn’t at all surprised, it got me amused, but wasn’t impressed about the things I learned. And it answered my prayer.

What am I saying? I guess, what I mean is, not everyone who speaks eloquently, and smiles beautifully can be trusted or admired, because deep down inside, there’s a monster waiting to dash on someone. As I was always and have been taught by my pastors; be sensitive to the Spirit. Which, I would unintentionally fail. Woe is me!

I’ve been on this road before, and I know the type of person. But I’m not going that direction anymore. Well, I didn’t really remove anyone from my friend’s list, so…haha!