Life is always evolving, and often, there will be a different turn. I guess, life is interesting that way. I’m going to take a moment to stay away from blogging, but will still continue seeking for opportunities online, because the lack of post does not mean that I am giving up. I feel that I do not have to find any explanations why I had to do this, I’m not going to worry about whatever people think of me because I’m not going to let a few people change me, my thoughts and my views of me. But yet, still the reality of my life remains. I must do this.
All my actions and dictates in life should come from careful thought and diligent discipline, if it makes sense to anybody. I’ve been bored through and through for not doing anything, and just sit infront of the computer everyday. But at least I tried. And in short, I am starting to change my mind whether should I continue doing the idle things that I do, or to make up my mind and start caring for what little things I have and stop being selfish.
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So, it all has come to this. But to satisfy one’s curiosity, let me just air my side of this “issue” regarding my perpetual problem with money; NO, I’M NOT INTO DRUGS!
Recently, someone just had the audacity to question my ability to handle finances. Why this? Why that? Yadda, yadda, yadda! Why blog?
At first, it never really occured to me that I should be affected, but since I am getting irritated about the constant badgering, it’s not funny at all anymore.
So let me, let you in my world:
I’m not going through into so much detail with you, I just want to satisfy you, my dear critic. My ex sends the children through his lawyer a hefty amount of PHP11,000 on a monthly basis, would you also be concerned to take into account that there are times when the charity comes in delayed? How about if it’s not in the exact amount? Or how about when nothing at all? Of course, you won’t be concerned when the rice bin runs out, or when the children comes home hungry and all we have is a big can of cookie to satisfy their hungry tummies because dad’s charity isn’t coming yet, it’s not your problem! Who am I to obligate such sensitive human as you?
Relatives and family. Yes, I do have quite a few. I hope you also understand that 34 is not just considered of legal age, right? Or how about standing on your own counts? Even if my family knows, if there’s nothing they can do about their own situation, who am I to ask such requests? Yes, I think I agree with you that I am still healthy enough to get a job. That is true. But then, who will take care of the dealings at home while I’m gone? Surely, you won’t give me that time in a day to even just make sure if my children are eating right? Or if they are fine alone at home? My son is 15 -yes, and my daughter is 10 years old too, does it mean that they can actually take care of themselves if someone comes along and bullies them? I don’t think you haven’t heard of people being beaten up just by someone knocking at the door? Or children being butchered while parents are away, just to steal? You see, I’m not doubting that my Lord will provide for our needs, infact he has continually do so (sorry for the wrong grammar). But I don’t believe that it would glorify His name if I neglect my children either. It’s already a sacrifice of time just to earn money. I guess, I already made enough point to say that we already did that. My daughter practically grew up in one of the call centers that I worked for!
I guess this is yet not final. But I am going to take that moment of repose, of not posting about my life for just a few moment, because apparently, I’m not doing good to myself. I just don’t want this to drag for a long time.
